pandora's box

'I may make the biggest mistake of my life...'

not the first thing you want to hear from someone on the other side of the phone. but i somehow knew exactly what it was about.

'what would you do in the situation?'

'do you ever wonder what would of happened if timing was different?'

'its like a pandora's box you know? do you think you would ask?

this was becoming one intense conversation.

after an hour or so, i hung up the phone i felt content.

but this changed after seeing small speckles of light dancing around on the walls and ceiling of the bar...it was a mixed feeling of happiness, excitement and uneasiness.

i felt like a kid standing in the middle of the driveway seeing off her best friend leaving town for a new life.

it wasnt jealousy-

but was a sadness of an era ending...

and of self pity.

realization that the whole dynamic has changed.

no more random catch ups just for the sake of it.

and reconfirmation that i had to stand of my own two feet and suck it up.

ohh and i just received a reminder on facebook....

good old fb.

how ironic that it happened just as im typing this even though it could of happened anytime during the past week.

but im not surprised.

my life is full of irony.